The phone conversation of all time

OK so this is how it goes. Keep in mind our household has already recieved a call from these scammers, so I already knew what was going on. Italics is the man on the phone. Non-italics - me.

Enjoy.


Hello am I speaking with mrs pilborough?

Yep, that's me.

Hello, my name is Tim, I'm calling from a computer security firm in regards to your home computer. Can you tell me, do you have a computer with an authorised operating system?

*alarm bell clangs*

Yes, yes I do.

Well, our computer security company is calling people in regards to a very serious computer breach that can affect your systems. This breach comes through the internet.

Internet?? What's that?? *insert blonde tone here*

*pregnant pause* You do not know what hte internet is??

No! Tell me more, it sounds interesting.

Um.. *longer pregnant pause* You do not download anything??

Down... load. Sounds strange, what does that mean???


*pause so pregnant that his waters must've been almost breaking*

You have never used email??

We don't even have a postman here!

No no, mam, email is the electronic version of mail. you send letters through the computer. You do have a computer??

Yes, the children play games on it. Tell me more about this email

You don't know about the internet? (to someone in the background - this lady doesn't know about the internet!)

That's right. Do tell me about it, I'm curious now.


Loooooonng pause.

If you don't know about the internet, I'm afraid we cannot help you today mam. Thankyou and goodbye.


And that is how to avoid people behaving like the last one who called with a similar scam, who swore at my husband when he refused to log onto their website.

*grin*